I was at my previous job for 12 years. That’s a long time. I liked my job, and the people I worked with. I never felt like I’d been there 12 years though, I felt like the new person for a lot of that time, the imposter. Maybe it’s because I went on maternity leave three times over the years, but I don’t think that’s it. It’s an itch I cannot scratch here, trying to pinpoint why, and maybe I can delve more in another blog post sometime.
Today marks one year in my new job. I would say it’s been the best year, although just after starting my new job, 2023 turned into a giant turd of a year as my granddad died, painfully and unnecessarily early. It was crap, and I almost had to stop thinking about him to get through any moment without my throat closing up and my eyes leaking. I had to be able to concentrate on something else.
My job stepped in, and the people I work with. I hope they know who they are. When the kids were at school, other people relied on me and whilst I still play the imposter every day in my own head, I have realised how much you can thrive in a job. Definitely more on that another time.
Our team has grown hugely since I started, so might contribute to why I don’t feel like the new person or the outsider anymore. But it’s more than that, it’s not just about how long I’ve been there or who has become the ‘new person’ since me. It feels equal and it feels right.
My granddad’s face still fills my lock-screen so I can see him multiple times a day, smiling at me from his garden chair. I do wonder though, if people at the checkout in Tesco might just think I have a much older (albeit very handsome) husband who graces my phone screen. Nope, just my granddad.
Have You Tried Walking Lately? 